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CatharineAubrey
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Name: Catharine
Birthday: 8/20/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: The University of Texas, daydreaming, love and being in love, wearing tights, doing gymnastics, pictures, a bunch of very random music, talking to Fredrick Jackson, being sore, being top secret, laughing, old people, teeth, Simply Orange orange juice, writing with Sharpies, drinking out of Nalgenes, Dr. Phil, muscles, NCAA Basketball, March Madness,Shannon Brown, Kevin Durant, Wayne Simien, basketball players in general, any kind of Texas football, Friday Night Lights
Expertise: Causing or being in akward situations, losing expensive articles of clothing, bruising my sternum, causing party fouls, over-analyzing situations, worrying, thinking ALL the time until my brain gets angry, NOT talking about politics, spilling red things on white shirts, and being super-ultra-mega loud
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  catdogg146
Member Since:
3/16/2004
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| I wrote this two months ago, but it is wonderful and such true feelings, so I am going to publish it.
I seriously SERIOUSLY miss xanga.
but I love that no one reads it anymore. I feel like I am typing to no one these days, and that is a strangely good feeling.
I am writing here because I have seen change. I have seen change, and it is strange to see it. I am not in high school anymore. Is that weird? Like my life has seriously flown by me so fast, I feel like everything happened literally yesterday. I feel like I was just starting high school, so nervous, Mackenzie driving me to school. I feel like I was just starting junior year with the red beer bong, hanging out at the JC. I feel like I was just a senior, in love with cheerleading and doing it every day. I feel like I was just pledging, knowing not a single person, wondering if I was doing the right thing. And now, here I am, far away from Mackenzie, slapping the bag instead of beer bonging, very unable to do a standing back, and truly in love with every person in my pledge class, much less, Chi Omega. It is so strang how life changes. I can't believe it.
I have changed. Other people have changed. Some for the worse. Some for the better.
Change is inevitable. I look different. I act different. I have a different outlook on life. Life is different. I just find it so hard to believe that 2 years ago I was starting my senior year. Do you know how weird it feels to say 2 years? I feel SO old. Here I am now, actually planning out my life, actually preparing to go to law school, actually thinking about what I am going to do, not just talking about it, not just wondering how it will all go.
"Today is the first day of the rest of your life. If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got." -Assaf Anvi, adv316
I dreamed I was in a standing back circle at Extreme last night, and when I woke up, I realized how much I miss tumbling.
No matter who I am, I still love the same people. I still love the same things. I still love who I am. I could never change enough to change any of that. | | |
| I don't think anyone actually reads these anymore, except for a few people. and that's why I really enjoy it, I think.
I am absolutely stunned that my freshman year of college is over. really over. like, can you really believe it either? I remember so vividly my first day of sophomore year in high school. and here I am about to be a sophomore in college. I don't even feel like that many years of my life have gone by. honestly, I cannot even believe it, it is incredible.
this year was the most incredible year of my life thus far for many reasons. I learned a lot about myself and grew completely as a person. I can very easily say that this was the hardest year of my life. school was hard. relationships were hard. being on my own was hard. meeting new people was hard. the expectations were hard. dealing with my emotions was hard. focusing was, and still is, really hard. everything, essentially, was so difficult. I've cried and screamed and contemplated beating ta's and professors. I have been through every emotion that you can possibly think of this year, but that is what I have loved so much about it. I am smiling right now while I am writing this, because though this year has been so difficult, it has been so wonderful. there are so many incredible people in this world, and I have met some of them this year. I have become a stronger person because of everything that I have been through. college is so difficult, but nothing feels better in the world than looking up your test grade online and seeing that you got an A or having a deep conversation with someone you just met or having a really wonderful laugh with your closest friends. college is so undescribably wonderful. you have to experience it to know.
I often ask Katy if she would go back to high school, and we both answer the same: "only to be skinny again and to be able to never have to study. other than that, absolutely not."
gaining weight sucks. so does sleeping for only 4 hours in a 72 hour time span. but naps are wonderful.
changed my major to government. that was something I never thought I would do.
I know so many of you high schoolers are going to college soon, and all I can say to you is get ready, you are in for the most incredible year of your life. cherish it, love it, and most importantly, don't let a minute of it slip by.
so, here's to freshman year--for every late night Kerby queso run, for ever mixer, for every week that we started the weekend on Tuesday, for every night we stayed up until 630 a.m. studying for exams, for every test we aced or bombed, for every new person that we met, for every sorority/fraternity that we grew so fond of, for every late nite we went to, for every walk we made through west campus, for all the times we don't exactly remember a lot of, for all of the TOPS we took and bought too many of, for every Tiny's guy we talked to for hours while he regulated risk management, for every time we changed our major, for every concert we went to, for every time we procrastinated, for every pound we gained, for every meal we ate in Dobie, for every eBus we rode, for every time we went downtown, for every mistake we made, for every night we partied like we go to the University of Texas--it's all been more than worth the while.
now, I must close my laptop and keep myself from getting on facebook. I had a test on Tuesday, two on Thursday, and I didn't go to sleep until 630 in the morning last night... and I have yet another test at 900 a.m. get me off of here, what am I thinking? | | |
| I miss this thing.
College is hard, but so amazing.
I am so very thankful for everything I have.
I love my friends.
I love my school.
I love my life.
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| I am in love with it... so in love.
I am so nervous about the next year, but I have never been more excited in my entire life.
I am in love with the University of Texas at Austin.
hey, I do love a March Madness a wittle bit too.
actually, make that a lot.
Final Four countdown:
2 days, 17 hours, 21 minutes, 42 seconds
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| yeah, yeah, yeah... I know not many people use these old guys anymore, but I am seriously a huge emotion waiting to pop right now, so I definately need a place to vent (besides English, I didn't have it today). anyway, this entry is going to be incedibly nostaglic, so for those of you who enjoy that kind of good stuff, enjoy yourself.
it has seriously just begun to hit me. I am graduating in a matter of only like 9ish weeks. does anyone happen to understand how many emotions that sends through me? yes, of course I am so excited that I can hardly wait. I have wanted to go to UT since I was in like 7th grade, and here I am finally doing what I want. but at the same time, thinking about being in that Spirit Arena is one of the scariest and saddest feelings. all of this high school "stuff" that I am so used to is not going to be convenient anymore. I wan't ever walk in a "hall" again. I won't have "passing periods" or be able to go into Mrs. Moore's room just to get a sucker. everything in my life is so close to changing, and really thinking about that just makes me want to cry sometimes.
and the people. there are so many people that I don't ever want to leave. coming into this year, I never imagined I would ever make more than 7 friends that I just absolutely thought I would cry when I left them. but there are so many beautiful, talented, amazing people who surround me everyday, and I don't want to leave that. I know that I will meet new people in Austin, but those people who make me smile every day are not going to be there. Chappy, Alisha, Rachel Wachel, Callie Jones, Kasey bug, Jessica, Myka, Donka, Samantha (and Adrian for that matter), Daniel, Cameroni Allison, Jesse Toe (see, this is why you have to go to UT with me... I will be a MESS if you don't!!!), Lukey G, JP, wittle Lindsey, Katelyn, Chelsea, Michael David Allison, Bryant, Rob Moof, Travis, Ning, Harrison, Austin Underwood, Kyle, Tim, Zaiq, Meredith, Christina, Lacy, Ashleigh, Jacy, and so many more... I could list forever. I am going to miss this so much. so much.
then, of course there is cheerleading. it's over for me. gone. it really does feel like just yesterday that I was trying out for JV, and Lauren, Rachel, Alicia, and I because the JV Squirts, and we were going to camp for the first time, and meeting Slow Motion Logan, and then not having to try out, and going to camp again, writing on pop tarts, and going to Nationals. everything that is far away seems so close. and I know I don't want it to be over. I have cheered at basketball games, football games, volleyball games... everything for 3 years, and I know that being in the stands next year is going to be the most awkward situation ever. leaving the cheerleaders may be one of the hardest things to do.
graduation is really not far away. I realized this last night at the re-opening of Chapman Field when they introduced the juniors on the football team as "seniors." I thought to myself, "really soon, I am not even going to be a senior anymore. I am going to be a freshman in college." and it possibly just hit me harder than a sack of bricks: high school is as good as gone. but I can't let it be. these next 9 or so weeks are going to be the best weeks of my life. I am never going to live a moment dully. everything is just uphill from here. I am going to do things I have never done, notice things I have never noticed, and be everything I want to be. the rest of this year is going to be amazing. I have so much I want to do and so little time to do it, but that's what makes it so much better. I can't wait. you guys, these are going to be the best times of our lives.
I need to write in this guy more often. it is such a wonderful way to release feelings and stuff. I usually get way too lazy to ever write anything since it takes me almost a day and a half to write an entry, but I need to stop being so boring. it really is quite amazing how much better the ol' xanga can make you feel. I won't lie, I do love me a wittle bit of Facebook and I love MySpace a little, too. it's all such a guilty pleasure.
anyway, sorry to be such an emotional d-bag (or Douchey McDoucherson, tsk, tsk). it happens to me a lot though. I really am an emotional person, it's true. but it will happen to you sometime, too, I know it.
hey, I am so in love with baseball that it almost hurts. it's ridiculous.
1. you're adorable. I am so happy for you, not only for today, but for the happiness that you have found. it's been so good for you, I know it.
2. we really should hang out more often.
3. dude, we have known each other so long, it's sort-of nuts. hanging out with you more lately has been good. I lub it.
4. we're going to have so much fun. I love you like a little fat guy loves his cake.
5. you are a wonderful, wonderful person. you're so laid back. it's been wonderful hanging out with you lately.
6. oh boy, I barely even know you. homie, I can't do this.
7. I love that we have been so close for so long. I am really going to miss your crazy ass next year.
8. you're really a doll. can we hang out a lot more often, please?
and now, I will just leave you guys with my to-do list for the rest of this year.
To-Do in March/April/May 2006
-finish my government correspondence stuff, I may not be graduating after all... then I can just take everything I said back!
-make it to every single baseball game that Lubbock High plays
-become really good friends with some wonderful kids
-eat at Giorgio's some more... I really do love that place.
-actually play intrmurals
-play some powderpuff, too!
-play a weensy bit with Travis and Kasey... which was supposed to happen liiiike the first week of school
-get my yearbook, this is always the highlight of my year. I look at it maybe a minimum of 28 times the first day we get them
-buy a Powerbook with my own money
-take so many pictures, it's not even funny
-laugh every day, all day
-yell (like REALLY, REALLY yell) on the announcements
+ so many more that I cannot think of right now b/c I am terribly hungry. if I think of some more, I will remember to write them down... I will keep you guys filled in.
as for right now, I have some wild ol' wings awaiting me. man, I love buffalo wings a lot. they're probably my favorite food. mmmm, yess!!!
I love you guys. | | |
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